Mrs. Pauline J. (DeCarlo) Stemmer

E. UTICA – During one of the most sacred weeks of the church year, Mrs. Pauline J. (DeCarlo) Stemmer, age 96, passed away peacefully on Monday, March 30, 2026, with her son, daughter, and son-in-law by her side. Her passing occurred in the comfort and dignity of her son’s home, where she had been residing and was lovingly cared for over the past two years. Born in Utica on June 30, 1929, Pauline was the daughter of the late John and Anna (Curri) DeCarlo. She attended Mary Street School and was a proud graduate of T.R. Proctor High School, Class of 1947. She was an initiator and coordinator of the T.R. Proctor Alumni Association, demonstrating her passion through its many years of gatherings and celebrations. On May 17, 1952, Pauline was united in marriage with Robert E. “Bob” Stemmer. She carried with her a sense of love and traditions from another era. She was blessed with a husband who was protective of her health and always attentive to her needs. The couple shared 72 years together prior to Bob’s passing on August 20, 2024. Pauline was employed as a medical secretary for St. Elizabeth’s Hospital and for the office of Dr. Samuel Gooldy, M.D. She was a fastidious, cordial, and thoughtful woman, working until the age of 70—how incredible to have had the stamina to do so. Pauline was a compassionate and supportive mother. Nothing rattled her soul; in both good times and difficult times, she stood by her family’s side. Traditions and respect were her way of encouraging and promoting goodness in their lives. Her son and daughter were incredible caretakers for Pauline, offering just a glimpse into how deeply they loved her. It would be remiss if their devotion were not acknowledged. Nothing brought Pauline more happiness than her grandchildren and great-grandchildren. They were the light of her life, and she cherished each one deeply. After Pauline’s ostomy, she blossomed through the process, always wanting to assist others even when she herself was not well. She took great pride in tending to her home, always looking forward to the excitement of celebrations and family gatherings. An accomplished baker and exceptional cook, her Christmas cookies were a cherished tradition. Sundays were especially meaningful, with attendance at Mass at St. Agnes Church followed by a pasta dinner. Each day of the week had its designated meal—a tradition her family will always remember. Pauline, along with her husband Robert and her sister Grace, was a staunch member of the Sons of Italy, Lodge #2054, where they enjoyed socializing and spending time with family and fellow members. She and her husband were also dedicated supporters of the St. Cosmas and Damian Society of Kossuth Avenue. Each year in late September, they helped cook and prepare pizza fritta, and it was there that Pauline sold her well-known and delectable pepper cookies. Their heritage was proudly celebrated; saints’ parades were honored, and traditions were carried on with love and pride. She also proudly served as the recording secretary for the annual event. Pauline always kept busy and remained active throughout her life. She enjoyed tending to her plants and flowers and loved crocheting each day, as well as watching “General Hospital” and additional other daytime soap operas, and classic films on the Turner Classic Movies channel. She also enjoyed going out to lunch with dear friends, taking bus trips to Atlantic City, and visiting in one another’s homes, where coffee and Sambuca were often shared. She had a boisterous laugh that kept visits lively and memorable. Pauline loved to dance throughout her life, even into her later years. Her physical therapy was often more successful because of her love for music, especially dancing the Tarantella, which her son John would play for her on his guitar while she danced joyfully. Pauline was grounded in her faith from childhood and honored her Lord until her final days. She was a devoted member of St. Anthony and St. Agnes Church. She is survived by her son, John R. Stemmer (and the memory of her daughter-in-law, Deborah (Szewczyk) Stemmer, who passed away in 2010); daughter and son-in-law, Janice and Fred Greer; grandchildren with whom she shared a special bond as she cared for them their whole lives, John James Stemmer; and Justin and Vanessa Cichon; and great-grandchildren, Sophia Cichon, and David Cichon. Pauline never kept far from her mind the fond memories she held of her siblings and their spouses who preceded her, Mary and Anthony Tinelli, Antoinette and Sylvester Castano, and Grace and Roland Messere. She is additionally survived by a host of nieces, nephews, great-nieces and great-nephews, who remained close and continued to send their love and support; and sister-in-law, Selwa Stemmer (the late Richard J. Stemmer). Pauline was additionally predeceased by her father-in-law and mother-in-law, Joseph and Antoinette (Bouse) Stemmer; and brother-in-law and sister-in-law, Donald J. and Pauline Stemmer. The family extends heartfelt thanks to the owners of “Live Long at Home,” Bobby and Katherine Burnett. Joseph Lomonico, Sr. also assisted in many ways, showing his friendship and love for John and his parents. Gratitude is also extended to her son-in-law, Fred, who went above and beyond in so many ways and will be forever remembered as a truly good man. Pauline’s family will honor and commemorate her life privately. Relatives and friends are respectfully invited to attend Pauline’s Mass of Christian Burial and Celebration of Life, which will commence on Friday, April 10, 2026, at 12:00 p.m. at St. Anthony and St. Agnes Church, 422 Tilden Ave. There will be an opportunity to greet the family at the conclusion of Mass. Entombment will take place in Calvary Mausoleum at the convenience of the family.

Mrs. Pauline J. (DeCarlo) Stemmer

June 30, 1929 - March 30, 2026