Mrs. Mary Lourdes "Mary Lou" (Flagler) McGivern

UTICA – Mrs. Mary Lourdes “Mary Lou” (Flagler) McGivern, age 92, was called home by God and was welcomed by her parents on Wednesday, August 16, 2023. She was attended to with great love and concern by her devoted daughters. Mary Lourdes was born in Utica on January 31, 1931 to the late Frank and Loretta (Danquer) Flagler. She attended St. Agnes Grammar School, St. Francis DeSales High School, and was a graduate of Utica School of Commerce. Mary Lou’s life changed when she met Henry “Bud” McGivern at a dance. Henry spent the dance admiring Mary Lou from afar and finally got the courage to ask her to dance. After that, they didn’t want to dance with anyone else and only had eyes for each other for the rest of their lives. Their amazing love was an inspiration to, not only their children, but anyone who saw them together. They lived in harmony of heart and soul and looked forward each day to being able to say “goodnight” to each other as they went to bed. Mary Lou was a mother graced with 7 living children. She gave them both life and faith. Mary Lou taught them to have unity of heart, belief in the Lord’s ways, and profound prayer. She was always tender and loving to her children, but especially so when they were sick or hurt. When asked, she enjoyed providing them with the advice she learned throughout her years. Mary Lou turned her family’s house into a home. She ran it well and orchestrated the many moving parts to do so. Mary Lou was concerned with how well she sent her children out into the world. Their “Sunday best” was part of their way of life and she bestowed to her family a mother’s love with great perseverance. A very special time in the family circle was teatime. Everyone knew Mary Lou was a magician at making a dollar stretch and could make a delicious dinner out of very little. The beauty of her children’s youth was that they never knew what they didn’t have. Mary Lou was shy, unassuming, private, and was a homebody who preferred to be in her own surroundings. She always had her house in order for when Bud came home each day. She was a great listener, a wonderful conversationalist, and had anecdotes or comical sayings for every life occasion. Mary Lou came from a musical family and loved to sing. The best times were when the Flagler family got together at their dad’s house and all sang together acapella. Being a mother came naturally to Mary Lou and the wellbeing of her children was of the utmost importance. She truthfully was an exceptional mother. Every birthday and special occasion brought with it a handwritten card with a memorable token of love from her that those left behind will continue to hold dear. When her children were grown, Mary Lou began a career similar to her home life as the preparer of Father LaFache’s vestments. She was so honored to be working in the house of the Lord at St. Mary’s Church. In her life, church came first, including before any holiday celebration with the family or the opening of presents. After church, however, holidays were central to the homestead. She then, in later years, passed the hosting onto her children. During this tough time, her children have come to believe that a faithful mother is more than a memory, a faithful mother lives with you forever. Throughout her life, Mary Lou enjoyed reading. In her later years, she bestowed each of her children a book which included her personal sentiments, something they will all cherish forever. Mary Lou’s faith was the bedrock to her life. She wanted her children to know the comfort and prayerful ways of the Lord’s teachings. Praying decades of the rosary brought her peace, and solidified her intentions for others in her life. Her strength came from her Catholic upbringing. As a family, they were communicants and active members of St. Agnes Church. Mary Lou and Henry welcomed the merging of St. Anthony’s and St. Agnes church, which they then called their home parish. Mary Lou is survived by her beloved husband, Henry “Bud”; her children and their loves, Nancy C. Fuller, Linda Agen, Diane and Mike Meliosky, Kathleen McGivern, Brian and Karen McGivern, Steven McGivern, and Maureen Fredericks. She is now reunited with her infant son, James F. McGivern who preceded her. She leaves to cherish her memory her beloved grandchildren, Charles, Jr. and Rebecca Fuller; Jeffrey and Jolyn DeStefanis, Allison DeStefanis; Michelle and Dave Gildersleeve, Jessica and Josh Kohout, Amanda and Adam Schriener; Katherine McGivern, Kevin McGivern; Ian McGivern; and Kayleigh Fredericks. Mary Lou cherished the memory of her granddaughter, Melissa Amy “Missy” Fuller, who preceded her on July 10, 1990. She will also be fondly remembered by her 11 great-grandchildren. In addition to her parents, Mary Lou was preceded in death by her siblings and their spouses, Francis “Pepper” Flagler, Robert E. and Betty Flagler, Rosemary and Jack Hart, and Jack and Susan Flagler. She will be lovingly remembered by her nieces, nephews, great-nieces, and great-nephews. She was additionally predeceased by her father-in-law and mother-in-law, Thomas E., Sr. and Helen (Keinz) McGivern. The family would like to extend gratitude and heartfelt thanks to the home health aides from Senior Health Network for their companionship and care of Mary Lou and the staff of 2 East of MVHS at St. Elizabeth’s Campus. A special thank you is also expressed to Dr. Irena Kokot for her personalized care and understanding nature. Visitation will be held from 4:00-6:00 p.m. on Wednesday, August 23, 2023 at the Eannace Funeral Home, Inc., 932 South St., corner of Hammond Ave. Relatives and friends are respectfully invited to attend Mary Lourdes’ Mass of Christian Burial and Celebration of Life which will commence at 10:00 a.m. on Thursday, August 24, 2023 at St. Anthony and St. Agnes Church, 422 Tilden Ave. In lieu of floral offerings, memorial contributions in Mary Lou’s honor may be made to St. Anthony and St. Agnes Church, 422 Tilden Ave., Utica, NY 13501; envelopes will also be available at the funeral home. Interment will take place in Calvary Cemetery.

Mrs. Mary Lourdes "Mary Lou" (Flagler) McGivern

January 31, 1931 - August 16, 2023